From disempowerment to sovereignty
Azaleas in bloom.
I got slimed this week.
I can’t talk about what was happening, but it was a toxic situation in my personal life.
During this situation, my energy felt so blah. I felt like I was covered in a thin coating of grease. I felt disempowered, less-than, anxious, and exhausted.
I’ve been sleeping fitfully, waking up multiple times throughout the night, and then waking up too early in the morning.
Yesterday, I took a 2 hour nap in the afternoon, and I woke up feeling like I hadn’t slept at all.
For me, my way through to the other side was sitting down and taking a step of empowerment last night.
There was a task I needed to do, and I had been avoiding it. This task was a step towards creating protection from what was happening.
So last night, I sat down and did the thing I needed to do.
It was scary and hard, but in the end I felt like I had removed an enormous weight from my heart.
Then, I slept well and deep. I woke up this morning feeling like the slime was gone. I have energy, I’m thinking clearly, and I feel empowered again.
Today, I plan on doing more. I’m going to walk barefoot in the garden, do a ritual with cacao and oracle cards, and read a book I’m excited about.
I’m going to care for my nervous system, which got jangled this week.
Growing up, the messages I received about feeling anxious and less-than were that they were something wrong with ME and not with anything in my external world.
Even though there were a lot of true causes for fear in my life when I was a kid, I was taught that my anxiety was the problem, not the things causing me actual harm.
Now I know better. Now I see feeling less-than as a red flag that something needs to shift in my life. Even if it’s scary to take the steps to shift the thing, it still needs to change.
When I feel disempowered, my first instinct is usually to dismiss the feeling and to force myself to not feel that way, because that is my training.
When this happens, I try to fix myself instead of doing something to protect myself from harm.
But for the past few years, I’ve been working on retraining my responses.
Instead of dismissing the important signals my body sends me through my emotions, I try to feel, listen, and act.
What I remembered this week is that, even though I’ve been on this retraining journey for a while, there are still situations that can make me think there is something wrong with ME because I feel less-than.
However, it’s because I’ve been on this journey for a while that my instinctive response didn’t win the day. In the end, I did the thing I needed to do to protect myself.
What I want to tell you is that no matter where you are in your relationship with your personal sovereignty, you can always take a tiny step towards empowerment. Is there something causing you to feel less-than in your life? What is one small thing you can do today that would help you feel empowered?
Disclaimer: This blog is a resource guide for educational and informational purposes only and should not take the place of hiring a life coach, a therapist, or of seeking medical attention. No information on this blog creates a coach-client relationship between us. You are fully responsible for the decisions and actions you take in regard to your life and affairs.